Thou shalt not cut my own hair

Things I have learnt today:

NEVER cut your fringe with nail scissors.
Your fringe will end up looking like you attempted to chew it off and you will have to wait patiently for your housemates to return home from Uni for assistance only to be openly mocked and have them either then refuse to help fix it because they cant stop laughing or suggest childrens paper scissors as an alternative.

NEVER drink tea whilst watching Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe.
It is advertised as "laugh out loud funny" for a reason, my Macbook doesn't like being covered in second hand tea.