Thou shalt not phone home

"Have you been eating properly at Uni? What did you have for your tea"
"Mum don't be daft Im fine and yes I had Mash potato sandwiches"
"Thats disgusting, Ill start putting you some money in your bank every week for food"
"You honestly don't need to, I happen to like Mash sandwiches"
"Ill only do it if you don't bloody spend it on more tattoos"
"I cant promise that Im afraid"

"Can you come home from Uni to look after your brother for a couple of days in March love?"
"Yeah no worries"
"Just don't be having any of those Drum and Case parties you go to"
"Drum and Bass"
"Yeah those"
"Its a chance your going to have to take Dad"

I love winding my parents up, I really do, its like sport.