Thou shalt not paint children's faces with poster paint

Its been over a month since I arrived in America, Its cold here today which is quite nice I don't like being permanently sweaty, its not very British.

I am in the middle of bloody nowhere, where my mobile phone wont work and where I am forced to share my shower with at least 4 spiders and a moth every morning.

It has made me realize how much I adore little old England, I miss real British weather and proper cups of tea. Ice tea is not real tea, ice tea tastes like rose petal purfume I used to make as a child.

Yesterday was the 4th of July Carnival, I got married to Laura in true Vegas style and painted kids faces with what I am almost certain was just regular poster paint. I suggested we have a British day but there are no buses to queue for and moan about and there is a distinct lack of larger to drink.

Note to self running away to an American summer camp will not solve your problems it will just ensure you never reproduce.